Live Free, Fly Far

Lets pretend im talking to you right now. I’ll send you a message that says, “hey, how are you?” and you respond “Hey, im good how are you?” I reply with the same. Letting you know im good. Ill talk about how my job is going, and ill even add a smiley face in there. after a few seconds, i continue “Listen, umm, i dont know what to say but i like you. I didnt think it could get this bad but you are all ive been thinking for a while now. and i guess i just had to tell you, now i just ruined a friendship again because of my feelings. and im sorry, ill just leave you alone.” 

BUt before i log out, you respond. “Wait.” so i wait, and let you finish typing. after a minute or two i see your message. it reads “Thats great, sounds like you got yourself a good job. :D and you didnt ruin a friendship. i dont care that you like me. its not gonna change a single thing about you and me. actually the truth is ive been thinking about you as well. ive been really confused but id thought ill give this a try. That ill give us a try.”

“But why? im unattractive. im fat. and you, you are beautiful. you can get anyone you want, why would you choose me?”

“Like i told you before, i love your personality, and you are not ugly, or fat. you are big boned. :p “ 

now i kind of want to end the convo because i dont know if you are teasing me or not.

“no, im fat. i havent had a decent relationship since for ever. honestly i dont think i could find someone who would take me with all my fatness. Thats why i began to exercise.”

“Neuris, im serious. I really like you too. and you wouldnt have to change for me. and even if you do then i will wokr out with you. but you are beautiful as well. you just dont know it. but i really do like you, and would like to go out with you.”

my heart beats uncontrollably. but then id wake up from my fantasy. because even just pretending i know this oculd never happen. no matter how hard i wish on a star, or on 11:11. this is just like the last time i liked someone like you. they found out and soon our friendship was over. This is the same. You wished me a good summer because you knew we wouldnt see each other.or maybe you didnt wanna see me. But even so, so far ive had an ok summer, and it would only be good with you in my arms.

So i guess, ill just stick this pretending crap. Its all ive ever been good at.