Live Free, Fly Far

You are still in my head. i swear this is like the last time i liked a boy. I mean, its not as bad as before. With him i knew him far longer than i knew you. But you. Well you, i have fooled around with. im not sure, i guess it was just part of the moment we were having while lying down in that tent, listening to music. What would you expect from two hormonal teenage boys, messing around and joking around? But you know what? Some where deep down, underneath the me that promised i wouldnt have feelings for another male, i started feeling for you. I think it was when i kissed you on the lips. Or when i started to kiss your neck, or maybe even as i caressed your body. Im not sure, but what i do know is that i told you things i never have told any one. They werent secrets or anything, just things that i felt like i wanted to tell you.

Like when i asked you if you would get with me, and you told me yes because you loved my personality, you loved who i was. I even told you i would spend this entire summer with you, that we would go back up to Hampton and camp out for another few days. You know, i remember asking you if you would wait for me, because i was dead certain i would get accepted to Job Corps. YOu told me you would wait. because then youd be 18, and we could get more serious. I dont know, looking back now it seems kind of pathetic. looking at what i said and did, it seems im just desperate for love. But i do have another question for you…..Can you please, from the bottom of my heart i ask you, with all my sincerety, could you please not be another Torin? I dont want to go through what i went through with him again. It seems a lot of people dont really care about you, hell not even your cousins. BUt you do matter to me. So please dont hurt me.